[ She doesn't bother writing a note to Merrick, she just...appears where he's been staying in Skyhold, leaning against a wall, eyes turned up to the ceiling. There are tells that he can probably pick out that despite the attempted appearance of calmness, she was anything but. In her hand was an arrow that she kept fidgeting with, playing with the feathers, then running her fingers over the head, moving it around and around. Her eyes weren't quite focused on the ceiling, and her breathing was suspiciously controlled.
It was perfect, really. She'd managed to work herself up into risking one of those dumb, idiotic fits and she had no one to blame but herself. Stop freaking out. It's not that bad, you're overreacting. You're getting yourself worked up. Breath.
Merrick might not be the best person to come to right now, but she needed to talk, when she got like this. She had to be around people she could trust. And for the first time in her life, Sorrel wasn't around to be that person. It was like finding yourself falling down the steps and discovering that you'd misplaced one of your arms. And without Sorrel, Merrick was one of her closest friends. ]
...I just wanted people to just. Stop treating me like some exotic animal the Inquisition hauled in to gawk at. Just stop asking a few stupid questions. Creators. I didn't mean for it to go like that.
[ She stops, quickly turning to look at Merrick. Shit, she'd forgotten something. ]
...Is it okay if I just. Talk. About stuff? If it's not, that's completely fine with me, I understand if you don't want to deal with more stuff on top of everything else.
[ At some point Merrick had come across a string instrument--bigger, different than any he'd seen before, a human's--which he'd promptly taken without bothering to find its owner. He was on his bed, plucking at it, finding the notes and matching them with his voice. He stops the instant he hears someone coming, though, his hand darting for his dagger out of instinct.
Delicate hands open it, though, a slight figure passing through. Beleth. Merrick lets go of the dagger immediately.
She starts talking, because she's always talking. It's all right; Merrick is used to it at this point. He can be quiet, a listening ear as she pours out everything in a rush of words. ]
Yeah. Come here. [ He beckons her to sit on the bed with him. ]
[ She doesn't need to be asked twice, she moves to the bed, folding her legs and watching him curiously. That instrument was far different than anything the Dalish had, and she wonders how Merrick got a hold of it. After a moment of consideration, she decides against asking, just leaning against him. ]
I thought people were just going to ignore me. I think I would have preferred it. But it just turned into this...thing. People telling me I need to stop being offended, people telling me that I need to suck it up because I have to deal with it so humans understand us better, because understanding comes from asking me the stupidest questions over and over, until I'm ready to punt them off the battlements.
And the worst thing? I'm supposed to be able to do that. I should be able to handle them. Isn't that, like, the job I'm supposed to actually be good at? Why I'm here? Because I'm supposed to be good at dealing with humans while keeping a smile on my face.
[ She sighed, pressing her face into his shoulder. ]
What if the Keeper found out? Creators, I can here her now. 'When you said that you could do this, I assumed you meant for longer than a day'.
[ She makes a face, then glances over at the guitar again. ]
[ Ellana isn't sure yet if she'll be needed in the Fallow Mire, but she wants to touch base with Merrick before scouts are sent out, just in case he's going and she ends up staying. She doesn't want him to leave without them having talked recently. So she searches a few places around Skyhold, but to no avail. She's considering taking out her sending crystal (though she's wary of accidentally addressing everyone like Pel did) to reach him, but then she remembers a secluded spot the two of them found not long after arriving and she goes to check there first. Sure enough, he's there, and she comes over with a smile. ]
[ Merrick had taken the guitar he'd found (read: stolen) to the spot, and was seated cross-legged in the grass as he strummed. It had taken some getting used to, handling a guitar that's made for humans, but he thinks he's gotten the hang of it.
He's tuning it when he hears Ellana's voice, and he looks up at her. ]
[ That's what she was planning on doing anyway, so she comes and sits across from him, cross-legged. She gets the feeling she doesn't want to know where the guitar came from, so she doesn't comment on that. ]
I'm learning to play the lute. Maybe someday I'll get one of my own and we can play together.
Metaari notices nothing of Merrick's inner turmoil, not as he trudges a path through the gathered snow to where he's staying. He stops outside a small hut, close by to a larger one, before glancing back over his shoulder to make sure Merrick is still behind him. "Here we are." A grin pops across his face before he turns back to shove open the door, stepping inside.
It's a comfortably small, circular room, and what looks to be a remodel from being storage space once upon a time. There's a bed big enough for two to share--or well, just barely, if Metaari is in it. A fire is already crackling in the hearth, casting a warm glow across the room. "This hut was apparently her son's, until he finally got married and moved away from home. She said she never had the heart to change it back, and now she rents it to passing travelers. Does fair business, from what I hear."
He steps further inside, leaning down to pull his boots off to leave them near the fire to dry, before he sits on the edge of the bed with a low grunt.
It isn't so much turmoil as it is habit, instilled in him from the moment he became a hunter and more and more through Zevran's training. Always be wary, always have a plan of attack-- and he does, though it sort of sits there buzzing in the back of his head like background noise, while there's nothing in the foreground but drunken warmth and the sweet allure of a bed and hearth.
He sheds his cloak and coat and scarf (which basically strips him of any and all bulk and greatly reduces his size) and walks over to nudge Metaari's foot with his boot.
"Cute. I'm not exactly a kind and giving host, here." Still, his lips twitch upward into a crooked smile and he reaches up to unclasp his cloak, whipping it around himself to reach up and rest it on a hook next to the bed. He cracks his neck before his shirt follows the cloak's path, save for winding up on the floor instead of hanging, and he stretches his arms up over his head.
"You have options available to you for where you want to sleep. But for what it's worth, I make a pretty good pillow." Metaari casts Merrick a wink before he swings his legs up onto the bed in order to stretch out, stripped from the waist up--making sure that he presses himself against the wall, of course, to give Merrick room should he choose to join him.
It's Merrick's turn to grab Metaari's hand and steer him, though he can't exactly pull him anywhere. He does lead the way to the door that leads down into the wine cellar--which he could have slipped into unnoticed if he were on his own, but as Metaari is quite visible, they'd certainly been spotted walking in. Merrick has enough knives on him to threaten whoever dares interrupt them, though, so he's not terribly worried.
There are rows of dusty shelves full of various wines and liquors from all over Thedas, and if this were any other occasion, Merrick would absolutely be raiding the place right now. As it stands, he just returns to his spot nestled against Metaari's chest, finally lowering his guard.
Metaari tries his best to be inconspicuous (he's pretty decent at it when out in the field), but in the middle of a crowd and with his size being an ever present factor, it's next to impossible to not have a few curious glances cast in their direction as they go by. Still, as soon as they step inside the walls of the hold itself the sound dampens considerably as the crowds thin. He smiles at the back of Merrick's head as he's lead through the building and down stairs to the cellar.
The immediate brace startles him for a moment but as soon as he recovers Metaari rests a hand on top of Merrick's head, lightly stroking his hair. "What I said out in the courtyard was true, you know. The promise of running into you again was too good to pass up."
He finally steps back a little in order to bend over, enveloping Merrick in his arms and lifting him up onto his toes in order to steal a kiss. Deeper, this time, not the fleeting peck he'd been given in front of the crowd. It lingers and his lips tingle still even after he pulls back so he can lightly bump their noses together. "You're addicting."
There's a lot to discuss-- like what this is, where it's going, how the fuck he'd explain it to the others. There's Metaari's place in the Inquisition, too, whether he's willing to work for a cause greater and more dangerous than any mercenary job, or if he'll be on his way once the festivities are done. It's all there, waiting for time and sobriety, but the bubble is closing around them again-- the secret place they go where time halts and everything stops mattering.
Merrick kisses back, wobbling a little on his tiptoes, relying on Metaari to support him. As always his kisses are deep, devouring, fevered. He bites down whenever he feels it's unexpected, keeping Metaari on his proverbial toes.
( pretend this happened earlier than this. time to ask a boy on a date!!1 >_> )
[ Metaari gazes down at his sending crystal as he settles into his cot before letting out a breath and activating it, seeking out Merrick specifically. ]
[ Merrick has been outside training for most of the day. He's tired, but is still outside after night falls, sitting near a small fire and smoking. He sounds serene when he answers. ]
[ It's easy to tell that he's being avoided. Ever since he was able to finally crawl his way out of the healers' tent and back into normal society, he's seen neither hide nor hair of Merrick--at least, no more than just enough to see said hair turn and head in the absolute opposite direction from him.
There's a bit of maneuvering involved, but Metaari finally manages to get behind Merrick when he enters a room with only one exit and he fills the doorway with his large frame, arms folded over his chest. ]
[ Funnily enough, it's the room Merrick has been brewing his hooch, and he's well prepared to spin around with his dagger drawn when he hears the voice.
It was only a matter of time. A few days ago, before everything happened with Cyril, he'd be panicked right now. But as it is, he just turns around and faces Metaari, arms immediately curling around himself protectively. ]
[ The gesture makes Metaari frown and he wants to reach out to him, to place a hand on Merrick's shoulder with concern, but he refrains. Instead he drops his arms down to his sides and lets out a breath, letting his gaze express his concern instead. ]
What is it, Merrick? Why have you been avoiding me?
[ They're leaving for Antiva soon, and Beleth knows that before she goes, she needs to get something out of the way. So she goes to Merrick's room, and knocks loudly on the door. ]
Merrick? It's me, Beleth.
[ Just in case Cyril was there, or Metaari, or whoever else might be in the room. ]
[ Nope it's just Merrick, who has been nursing the beginnings of a migraine all day. He has some medicinal herbs on hand that tend to dull the pain a bit, so that's good, but the knock? Not so much.
Merrick, I--I haven't heard from you in a while, and I just want to say...I understand. Well--No, I don't, I've never experienced what you have, and it would be disrespectful to pretend otherwise. But I understand that you need your time, and I want to just...remind you again, that I'll always be here for you. Listening, speaking, just being there--no matter what it is you need, you just have to ask.
And I'll still be here for you, no matter what. It doesn't matter how much time we spend apart, if you want me, I'll be there. Because I love you. Because you deserve it--to be loved, and to have someone there for you.
You are such a good person, Merrick, and I am...amazed, sometimes, just how incredible you are. My life is so much better for having you in it, and you have had such a profound effect on me. Which is why I'll always have time and space for you--because you have a space in my life no one else could fill.
I--I'm sorry, I know this probably sounds overdramatic. I guess I just...wanted to let you know that you're not alone. And you'll never be alone, as long as I'm alive.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2015-10-24 04:39 am (UTC)It was perfect, really. She'd managed to work herself up into risking one of those dumb, idiotic fits and she had no one to blame but herself. Stop freaking out. It's not that bad, you're overreacting. You're getting yourself worked up. Breath.
Merrick might not be the best person to come to right now, but she needed to talk, when she got like this. She had to be around people she could trust. And for the first time in her life, Sorrel wasn't around to be that person. It was like finding yourself falling down the steps and discovering that you'd misplaced one of your arms. And without Sorrel, Merrick was one of her closest friends. ]
...I just wanted people to just. Stop treating me like some exotic animal the Inquisition hauled in to gawk at. Just stop asking a few stupid questions. Creators. I didn't mean for it to go like that.
[ She stops, quickly turning to look at Merrick. Shit, she'd forgotten something. ]
...Is it okay if I just. Talk. About stuff? If it's not, that's completely fine with me, I understand if you don't want to deal with more stuff on top of everything else.
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Date: 2015-11-02 02:36 am (UTC)Delicate hands open it, though, a slight figure passing through. Beleth. Merrick lets go of the dagger immediately.
She starts talking, because she's always talking. It's all right; Merrick is used to it at this point. He can be quiet, a listening ear as she pours out everything in a rush of words. ]
Yeah. Come here. [ He beckons her to sit on the bed with him. ]
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Date: 2015-11-02 06:36 am (UTC)I thought people were just going to ignore me. I think I would have preferred it. But it just turned into this...thing. People telling me I need to stop being offended, people telling me that I need to suck it up because I have to deal with it so humans understand us better, because understanding comes from asking me the stupidest questions over and over, until I'm ready to punt them off the battlements.
And the worst thing? I'm supposed to be able to do that. I should be able to handle them. Isn't that, like, the job I'm supposed to actually be good at? Why I'm here? Because I'm supposed to be good at dealing with humans while keeping a smile on my face.
[ She sighed, pressing her face into his shoulder. ]
What if the Keeper found out? Creators, I can here her now. 'When you said that you could do this, I assumed you meant for longer than a day'.
[ She makes a face, then glances over at the guitar again. ]
...It sounds nice, by the way.
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Date: 2015-11-07 06:59 am (UTC)What are you up to?
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Date: 2015-11-07 07:23 am (UTC)He's tuning it when he hears Ellana's voice, and he looks up at her. ]
Come here.
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Date: 2015-11-07 07:27 am (UTC)I'm learning to play the lute. Maybe someday I'll get one of my own and we can play together.
[ Because she's not stealing Zevran's. ]
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Date: 2015-12-14 02:34 am (UTC)Metaari notices nothing of Merrick's inner turmoil, not as he trudges a path through the gathered snow to where he's staying. He stops outside a small hut, close by to a larger one, before glancing back over his shoulder to make sure Merrick is still behind him. "Here we are." A grin pops across his face before he turns back to shove open the door, stepping inside.
It's a comfortably small, circular room, and what looks to be a remodel from being storage space once upon a time. There's a bed big enough for two to share--or well, just barely, if Metaari is in it. A fire is already crackling in the hearth, casting a warm glow across the room. "This hut was apparently her son's, until he finally got married and moved away from home. She said she never had the heart to change it back, and now she rents it to passing travelers. Does fair business, from what I hear."
He steps further inside, leaning down to pull his boots off to leave them near the fire to dry, before he sits on the edge of the bed with a low grunt.
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Date: 2015-12-14 03:24 am (UTC)He sheds his cloak and coat and scarf (which basically strips him of any and all bulk and greatly reduces his size) and walks over to nudge Metaari's foot with his boot.
"So you're taking the floor?" he teases.
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Date: 2015-12-18 01:56 am (UTC)"You have options available to you for where you want to sleep. But for what it's worth, I make a pretty good pillow." Metaari casts Merrick a wink before he swings his legs up onto the bed in order to stretch out, stripped from the waist up--making sure that he presses himself against the wall, of course, to give Merrick room should he choose to join him.
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Date: 2016-01-03 06:45 am (UTC)It's Merrick's turn to grab Metaari's hand and steer him, though he can't exactly pull him anywhere. He does lead the way to the door that leads down into the wine cellar--which he could have slipped into unnoticed if he were on his own, but as Metaari is quite visible, they'd certainly been spotted walking in. Merrick has enough knives on him to threaten whoever dares interrupt them, though, so he's not terribly worried.
There are rows of dusty shelves full of various wines and liquors from all over Thedas, and if this were any other occasion, Merrick would absolutely be raiding the place right now. As it stands, he just returns to his spot nestled against Metaari's chest, finally lowering his guard.
"I really thought you wouldn't come," he mumbled.
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Date: 2016-01-03 07:18 am (UTC)The immediate brace startles him for a moment but as soon as he recovers Metaari rests a hand on top of Merrick's head, lightly stroking his hair. "What I said out in the courtyard was true, you know. The promise of running into you again was too good to pass up."
He finally steps back a little in order to bend over, enveloping Merrick in his arms and lifting him up onto his toes in order to steal a kiss. Deeper, this time, not the fleeting peck he'd been given in front of the crowd. It lingers and his lips tingle still even after he pulls back so he can lightly bump their noses together. "You're addicting."
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Date: 2016-01-03 07:41 am (UTC)Merrick kisses back, wobbling a little on his tiptoes, relying on Metaari to support him. As always his kisses are deep, devouring, fevered. He bites down whenever he feels it's unexpected, keeping Metaari on his proverbial toes.
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Date: 2016-03-14 02:39 am (UTC)[ Metaari gazes down at his sending crystal as he settles into his cot before letting out a breath and activating it, seeking out Merrick specifically. ]
Merrick-- are you there?
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Date: 2016-03-14 02:53 am (UTC)Hey. Yeah, I'm here.
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Date: 2016-03-14 03:00 am (UTC)How are you feeling?
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Date: 2016-05-12 03:59 am (UTC)There's a bit of maneuvering involved, but Metaari finally manages to get behind Merrick when he enters a room with only one exit and he fills the doorway with his large frame, arms folded over his chest. ]
Merrick.
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Date: 2016-05-12 05:13 am (UTC)It was only a matter of time. A few days ago, before everything happened with Cyril, he'd be panicked right now. But as it is, he just turns around and faces Metaari, arms immediately curling around himself protectively. ]
Hey.
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Date: 2016-05-12 05:17 am (UTC)What is it, Merrick? Why have you been avoiding me?
[ May as well get to the point. ]
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Date: 2016-06-04 09:40 am (UTC)Merrick? It's me, Beleth.
[ Just in case Cyril was there, or Metaari, or whoever else might be in the room. ]
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Date: 2016-06-08 12:35 am (UTC)He groans. ]
Come in.
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From:[crystal]
Date: 2017-03-17 05:30 am (UTC)[ Her voice is hesitantly nervous--not that being nervous is exactly a new and different emotion for her. ]
Are you--Um. Did I--Or. Do you...
Ah.
We're still friends, right?
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Date: 2017-03-17 07:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
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From:[Crystal]
Date: 2017-08-09 08:25 am (UTC)And I'll still be here for you, no matter what. It doesn't matter how much time we spend apart, if you want me, I'll be there. Because I love you. Because you deserve it--to be loved, and to have someone there for you.
You are such a good person, Merrick, and I am...amazed, sometimes, just how incredible you are. My life is so much better for having you in it, and you have had such a profound effect on me. Which is why I'll always have time and space for you--because you have a space in my life no one else could fill.
I--I'm sorry, I know this probably sounds overdramatic. I guess I just...wanted to let you know that you're not alone. And you'll never be alone, as long as I'm alive.